Happy freaking fourth of July.

It’s about nine forty and I’m sitting on my couch at home, alone.

Six beers have been consumed – a coors light, a bud light, and four pilsner urquells – and I’m feeling okay in general, despite being alone on a big national holiday. My girlfriend was not interested in getting together, so this is happening.

Mostly I’m upset because I’m working on my ‘morning jog’ program for work and I’m not making decent progress. The fundamental problem that I have is that I need to be able to reference, as a variable, the value that that variable points to.
Like

Myvar var = “something”
Myvar othervar = “var”

I want to do

Print othervar

Which will hopefully print the value of “var" i.e. "something"

But it won’t. Instead, printing othervar prints the string var. Of course it does because that's what that code does.

I can do this in java easily but the script I am writing is SH and I need to find an example of how to reference variables in this language. It's probably a bracket or a special character in front of var. I could guess. I can scrape samples off the internet until I find something that works. But I need a POSIX compliant method – the KSH style I found does not work – and I'm writing this for a fucking mainframe with SH only – no Bash, no Korn shell.

It’s really irritating me. I have to find a solution. The alternative is to have a huge, huge block of code in my WLST application, which makes basically no sense when I run it on zSeries. There’s gotta be a way to do this. I just don’t know what that way is.

I’m frustrated for no particular reason. I somehow thought that with this tremendous period of time off of work that I’d come out the other end a more perfect person. That I’d pick up some new skills and have something to show for my time. Instead I’m just frustrated. I’m still me. My life is still sort of humdrum and boring. Nothing much new has happened to me. I will probably do this until I die.

There’s really nothing else to talk about. It’s probably a good thing that I ran out of alcohol – otherwise this evening would have the potential to produce a staggeringly, stupidly drunk Tobias Urban.

I’m going to just relax and watch the ballgame. The Sox are on.

Fuck programming.